see mom, i'm learning.

I really want to talk about some of the things I've learned in the past month. It's pretty amazing to sit down and think about how far I've come and how much God has taught me. This past month has had some of my worst days, some of my best days, and one of the scariest moments in a long time. But through it all, as I think you'll see from reading the rest of this post, God has been overwhelmingly good and faithful. It sounds cliche to talk about having your faith tested, but I really do think that it's happened a lot recently and it's been a painfully beautiful experience.

I'm learning that my brain simply cannot fathom the goodness and faithfulness of God.

I'm learning that God shows up every time, even when I start to think He's forgotten me.

I'm learning that it's okay not to have the perfect--or any--words when I pray because it's about my heart.

I'm learning that, as terrifying as surrendering is, God is so present and faithful in the midst of it all.

I'm learning not to let what I want--as noble as that may be--close me off from God's will for me.

I'm learning that, as cliche as it sounds, God really does have a purpose for the hard stuff and He will show me that purpose in due time.

I'm learning that God's timing is good, even when I'm impatient.

I'm learning that it's okay to reach out, with tears streaming down my face, and tell someone, "I'm not okay."

I'm learning that IT'S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY.

I'm learning that it's okay to let people invest in me.

I'm learning that there is so much freedom in not caring if people notice me.

I'm learning that God really is as personal as everyone says He is.

I'm learning that God is so, so, so good and so, so, so faithful.

I've had a lot of days this month when I wasn't okay. But I am now. God's been good every step of the way. He's been faithful beyond my ability to comprehend.